You Know Your Dad Is Bill M--- When...

This is a list I sent out as an email joke back before Haley was born. I wanted to put it in the blog for prosterity.


You Know Your Dad Is Bill M--- When...

Your first word is “booyah!”

Your number blocks are all 1s and 0s.

You use your blocks to spell hacker words like “L337 h4x0r”

You refuse to watch Teletubbies in day-care because the audio isn’t THX certified.

At the age of 6 months, you know Joseph Lieberman is a jackass.

You’ve got a Jedi "padawan" (apprentice) hair braid.

You’ve reprogrammed your Leapfrog Learning Buddy to pirate satellite radio signals.

You yell “Freebird!” at Wiggles concerts.

You’ve got a copy of the Kenny Loggins children’s CD “House at Pooh Corner” pirated off the internet.

For some reason the above CD has “Highway To The Danger Zone” on it.

You prefer Japanese animation to American. Suck it, Disney!

For Halloween you want to dress up as Lady Deathstrike from the X-men.

Your mother doesn’t want you dressing up as obscure super-villains for Halloween, so you go as a pumpkin.

You don’t know the lyrics to “Three Blind Mice”, but you’ve got the first verse of Steve Miller’s “The Joker” down.

You’re the only kid on the block enrolled in Kendo (Japanese sword fighting).

Your dad will not let you date until you can “take the pebble from his hand”.

You’re the only kid with a Snoop Dogg coloring book.

You’ve got the only parent that can hold his own against the neighborhood kids at video games.

For the first five years you thought your dad’s name was Jor-El.

You can use chopsticks before most kids can use a fork.

For some reason you have a Steve McQueen lunch can.

You ask why the sky is blue and you’re given the equation for atmospheric light refraction.

On a sunny day, you’re encouraged to stay inside and practice your video game skills for Quake-Con.

Before you sleep at night you thank god for mommy, daddy, and the Lakers.

You’re the only pre-schooler with a broker.